QUESTION and Statement: Can you please show me where in the Bible God tells a wife it’s OK to withhold sex from her husband. I know that a husband should do Eph 5:25, does it say that if he doesn’t at all times it’s OK for his wife to withhold sex?
When I’m doing Eph 5:25 and my wife still withholds sex it’s hard to continue with Eph 5:25, I do still try but I am only human and I am here in the flesh.
I have found that sex within marriage is not a negotiable thing, God says a husband and wife should satisfy each others sexual needs, (1Co 7:3). And not withhold sex only when both agree and for a time to pray and then resume their normal sexual relations with each other, and this should be on a regular basis.
However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire (1 Cor. 7:9).
I am married and still burn with sexual desire when my wife withholds. Did I miss something in God’s word or am I just stupid?
ANSWER: First, let me say that I have no reason to think that you are stupid!
Ephesians 5.25 does not have a sexual context. There is nothing in the text that speaks about the subject of sex.
Second, the 1 Corinthians passage does speak about marriage partners withholding sex during a specific time devoted to prayer, but them they should come back together. This passage is a correction to those in the church at Corinth who may have thought that once they had become spirit filled they no longer had to involve themselves with mundane human stuff like sex. Paul writes to correct them. I don’t think that Paul is saying that every day that you are going to pray that mates should obstain from sexual intercourse.
As a pastor for many years, I know that sexual problems within a marriage are only a sign of deeper marriage problems. You might suggest that you both talk about what might be causing your wife’s response (remember, I am only hearing one side of the story here). Problems within a marriage are usually not one-sided and there is usually fault on both sides.
If you cannot talk about it in private between each other, you might want to seek professional help.
