Usually most problems in a marriage concerning sex occurs because of no information or bogus information. Maybe a good place to start is by gathering some information that you and your husband can listen to together to open up a channel of communication between you about the problem you are sharing. In light of this here is a set of material that you might listen to along with your husband.

Starting The Conversation: Engaging Sexuality in the Christian Church, by: Tina Schermer Sellers

First, I’m not sure of what I’m not “listening” to you means.

You write, …”before marriage the women will do anything and act exactly perfect.” I find that to be the case for both men and women when they are courting, not just the woman. As I said in a previous post, there are two sides to every story about sexual malfunction within a marriage. It is never one sided. Because I don’t know your wife’s side of the story and am only hearing yours, which seems to be painful for you, I can’t take a side. While you may think that the “words in Ephesians and Cor[inthians] seem void to most women,” it is just as possible that most men might not understand what Paul is saying as well. I trust that you figure a way to resolve your sexual issues with you wife. I really do!

It surely is true that withholding sex from a partner can be painful. But, it is a two way street. When men complain, it is usually directed at the wife, but the opposite is also true, women could and sometimes do complain and that is directed at the husband. It is difficult in this kind of a forum to hear both voices. If this is a male writing, don’t know by the initials provided, but seemingly from the tone of the post it is, then you might want to ask the question of you wife, what are you doing wrong that causes this dysfunction to occur. So, when the wife uses withholding sex as a penalty, what does the husband withhold or what has the husband withheld from the wife. As I said in the original post, there is always two sides to the story.